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Chester Tester!
· chris_saxon on January 27 2008 18:57:38

It was just me and the boy today, Mr Burton having decided to take the train with his little lad and in the process inflicting on the poor lad a two and a half mile Falklands style yomp to the ground from the Railway Station.

We were pretty early so a decent street parking spot was on offer (the 3 quid I saved on the club car park was to come in useful a little later on)! 

For those who’ve never ventured to the Deva Stadium, you’ve not missed much.  If Matchbox had ever made footy stadium models instead of (or as well as) cars, this would have been a prototype.  Four very shallow stands, each 10-12 rows deep maybe?  The Main Stand a slight bit deeper and the Home End still terraced. 

We were right on the English-Welsh border and boy did it smell like it.  The waft of cow shit fumes really didn’t sit well with the sausage roll I was munching on, nor with the habitual and traditional smells at a footy match of Bovril and stale beer farts.  The Main Stand (East Stand) is in England and included the Club Offices.  If the Club Offices had been built on the West Stand then Chester City would have been a Welsh Club.  The dividing line between sheep and fish and chips is such a thin one I find!! 
 

In we went 16 quid for me, a fiver for the nipper and a programme worse than ours for a change.  We hunted down the pie stall, getting Ian Ross to sign the crap programme as we passed by. Have a good day, he wished us.  I thought about telling him that it all depended on him and his colleagues, but I didn’t want to pile on the pressure! What a sensitive soul I am?? 

The Pie Stall was tucked away in the corner and involved one woman, big baps, large rolls and a rather voluminous oven (ooerr x 3!!).  A lady steward was stood at the doorway; probably to prevent us from leaving without buying ow’t, the prices were that extortionate.  On offer, pies, burgers, hot dogs and sausage rolls, the usual fare.  Apparently it’s the same franchise that does the Macclesfield catering.  The afore-mentioned steward told us because she was a Macclesfield steward and had a badge to prove it!!  Apparently it’s a job share, all 13 of them from Macc today cos all the Chester stewards had buggered off to watch Wrexham at home¦ Now work that one out??
 

Suitably refreshed we took to our bird shit spattered seats and waited in expectation for the excitement to begin.  Good job I had some Kleenex on me!!
 

Not really sure what to say about the match?  We won through an early goal from Toxteth but apart from that it was a poor game made worse by a poor referee who spent all game blowing his whistle for no apparent reason.  Definitely a case of the ref not giving the match a chance.  There weren’t even any ball boys so the match had absolutely no pace and no urgency. 

Chester looked totally void of confidence even though they had a lot of ball.  We, on the other hand looked half asleep though happy in the knowledge that if we needed it, the capacity was there to shift into 2nd gear from 1st!!  Cocko was missing due to illness and a honourable mention must go to Sharpsy who was fantastic, though credit must also go to Marc Joseph who filled in and did really well. 

The game opened up a little in the second half as we switched to 442 with Rossy coming on for Ryan Taylor.  Wozza didn’t have much to do, but despite the game being poor we could have had a couple more goals with Jamie Yates fluffing his shot after great work from Toxteth, and a bizarre pinball session that resulted in a defender hitting his own post with his clearance!! 

Best part of the game was half time, when for the first time in 40 years I had cause to request a pass out so I could go and fetch my phone from the car (it was on the dashboard in full view of any potential tea leaf!).  On my way back I found a fair proportion of the Millers faithful stood on the car park puffing away on a collective Woodbine¦ This Government has a lot to answer for!!!!

Oh and when I got back in the ground Chairman Toddski tried to convince the Chief Steward that I was in fact a known football hooligan and was banned from 8 grounds in the UK!!!
 

So that was that, another 3 points from a non-event of a match.  Must be a good sign I keep telling myself, it’s just that on occasions like these, why can’t we just wind the tape to the end of the match and cut out the interim 83 minutes of tediousness??
 

Onto Peterborough ..!!!! 
Steve Exley
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